hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He did a backflip because drugs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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