3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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