I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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