Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
