East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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