Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize