therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
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This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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