For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
