I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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