This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
