the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
