Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize