I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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