you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
