EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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