I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
