there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize