mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize