Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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