playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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