I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You were trust falling into bushes
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
