Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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