the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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