im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
