Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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