I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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