I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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