He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
