my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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