There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize