I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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