After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
