I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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