chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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