Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I cockslap morals
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
