did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
