True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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