I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize