at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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