come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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