it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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