Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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