discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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