And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
