whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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