Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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