I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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