Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize