We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
