I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
