I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
