puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
