I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm at about main and main street
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
