I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
